Friday, January 9, 2009

Mildred's Party

The Vulva Fête
Nelson Fucks Everybody – A battle of wits and a dick
Friday, January 9, 2009

An evening of gladdening, gratification, and grins.

Meet and Greet
9 - 9:30
Gander and gossip with the local hard-bodies, enjoy a cocktail of your choice, catch up on your fellow friends’ holiday moments, etc. Be advised this is definitely NOT the time to begin using your charm in hopes of landing a bedmate. Be a gentleman and a lady, after all, it’s still early.

OMG, like this is so
9:30 – 10:15
Hop your bottom over to a seat and join in on a game with friends. This could be anything from board games, to billiards, to singing your heart out on the Wii. Yes, John, you can sing The Strokes. Ladies, now is an advisable time to run your hand along Ari’s arm, he’s a looker, and yes, he will go quickly. Most likely, very quickly. Amanda texts Rachel, “is it fun?”

“Nice Shoes”
10:15 – 11:00
Previous friendly follies over various rounds, matches, and competitions heats up. Turn up your agreeableness and witchery, compliment the minx next to you. Nate and Nelson discuss music. Amanda realizes she should have come.

Middle School Drunk
11:00 – 11:35
If you did not drink in middle school, fine, but you were still absolutely and undeniably a concupiscent hard-on. So, let’s play spin the bottle. The only difference is that we’ll know what we’re doing, a five second kiss won’t make you pre-cum, and our disposable cameras have now been replaced with sleek digital cameras so that we can erase the snapshots that make our chins look fat.

Post 11:35
Time to leave, grab the arm of the person you just slobbered on and head out for a night of reveling in your revelry at the local watering holes. Amanda joins.


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